Time To Get Selfish

Is there anyone out there like me who seems to get some control of order and then before you know it all chaos breaks out? Over the past few days it seems as if I am barely getting from one day to the next. So this morning I woke up trying to inventory my priorities. And easily I can see where I have gone wrong.

One thing that I have realized is that I have taken focus of God and myself and have been worrying about all these other things. Excuses started to creep there way back into my mindset and self-pitty along with it. Because I have lost my focus everything around me has suffered because of it. So it is time for me to get selfish. I know that seems wrong, but I believe there is such a thing as being selfish in a Godly manner. Here is my reasoning:

As a woman, especially one that is also a wife and a mother, we have many hats that we wear on a daily basis. We are maids, cooks, nurses, teachers, financial advisors, personal assistants, and the list goes on and on. With all these responsibilities it easy to forget to take care of ourselves. But there is danger in that. How are we suppose to accomplish all these tasks when we get emotionally, physically, mentally, and, most importantly, spiritually out of balance? The answer is we can't and that is when we start to see the CHAOS building around us and filling our homes.

We need to shift our mindsets from not wanting to be selfish to wanting to be healthy and energized to take on our day. So how do we do this? I am by no means an expert on this subject but I believe we can accomplish this as follows:

• DAILY COMMUNION WITH GOD (SPIRITUAL): We do this by reading His word, praying, and spending time in worship with the Father. 

• ARMOR OF GOD (SPIRITUAL): Ladies, our homes are our battlefields! Our bodies and minds are our battlefields! We can't go into battle if we are not dressed for it. It leaves us vulnerable to attacks. That is not to say that we won't be attacked, but that we are ready for attacks.

• DIET & EXERCISE (PHYSICAL): We need to be healthy! Again how are we suppose to accomplish our daily tasks and run around after our husbands and kids if we are sick and tired all the time? It is not a quick fix but a life long journey. Find out what works best for you and give it your all trusting in the Lord to guide you.

• ALONE TIME (EMOTIONAL & MENTAL): We need some time alone to do what we love even if we are not alone and choose to hang out with the girls! There are times when we just need a moment to ourselves without hearing little voices screaming for juice and snacks. 

I know that is not an extensive list, but it is where I am going to start. Which leads into how we fit this into our daily lives. I have been learning that 16 hours a day is plenty of time if we are smart managers of our time. 

Here is a simple way of doing this: On a piece of paper write out your day in 1 hour blocks from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed. Take an inventory of a full day of activities and pencil them into the blocks. At the end of the day tally up how you are spending your time. Do you have several hours of TV time? How about Computer? What about games and time on your smartphone? Are you spending way more time than necessary cleaning, especially on messes that little ones and husbands could be helping with? Now I understand that there are many women who work full-time either inside or outside of the home, but that is when tasks need to be truly shared by the entire household. Call a family meeting and start taking back your time. The enemy wants us to believe we have no time, and we need to stop giving ourselves over to this belief. 

I pray that this week we would all take the time to get a little more selfish and be better stewards of our time. 

God Bless us all on our journeys to better health!

24 Hours

How does time seem to get away from me like this? Since my last post on April 27th I have been very busy, and I realize I need to set an alarm on my schedule to make sure that I am getting on here to post. This may be a little lengthy of a post, and I am sure at some point you may even wonder what any of what I am saying has to do with my weight loss, but I promise it does.

"She watches over the affairs of her households and does not eat the bread of idleness." 

Proverbs 31:27

When I read this verse, I knew I had been guilty of eating the bread of idleness.  My body, my mind, my spirit, my home, my husband, and my son all have been suffering the consequences of idleness. I wasn't making time to care for myself physically and spiritually. My home was in total CHAOS. My relationship with my husband was becoming strained because I felt he did not help enough around the house. And I just could not keep up with the little hurricane that is my son!

About 3 weeks ago I realized that not matter how much I was working on my weight loss I struggled because of the mess in the other areas of my life. I was working against myself. I felt guilty for the way my home and family was beginning to look while I focused on losing weight. Please don't get me wrong. It is so very important for us mom's to make sure we are taking care of ourselves, but we need to find a healthy balance for all we need to accomplish. I knew I needed to get myself on a schedule. Even if I didn't stick to it 100% it would be my guideline. What surprised me the most wasn't that 16 hours wasn't enough time, but that it was more than enough time.

How you say? Well I am so glad you asked! The first thing I did was write down all the areas of my life that I know I need to focus on a daily basis:

MYSELF: Care Routines, Spiritual Walk, Healthy & Active Lifestyle
HUSBAND: Quality Time, Duties As His Wife,
SON: Quality Time, Well-Being
HOME: cleaning, laundry, etc

Next I made a schedule in 1 hour blocks from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I am trying to establish new habits so I knew that things needed to be simple and effective.

I decided that first thing in the morning I need to start my day in The Lord's presence. I spend time in prayer, getting my "daily bread" in Proverbs and "water for my spirit" in Psalms. I allocated 30 minutes for this and I have found that it is the best 30 minutes of my day!

By this time Moose is now awake and now I need to care for him. I created a routine for him to follow in the morning and I know that from 9:30am - 10:30am I have to focus on getting him cared for. However, during his breakfast I take those 10 minutes to fit in my first walking routine.

At 10:30 AM, Daddy is now up and it he takes over doing care routines with the moose. I start breakfast and start on household routines, which brings me to my next big problem area.

MY HOUSE! Ugh- can I just say how much I hate cleaning! I have tried looking online for routines and what not, but nothing that I found ever fit what I was looking for and they clearly did not have a moose loose in their home! Then I came across this little tidbit: 

" DON'T WORRY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S STANDARDS. DECIDE WHAT CLEAN MEANS TO YOU AND KEEP HOUSE ACCORDINGLY!" ~ Emilie Barnes 

So that is exactly what I did! I set my own standards and created a Cleaning Task Schedule to fit our home perfectly! What amazing advice! Since I have put that motto into my cleaning routine let me just say that my house has become a lot cleaner, more manageable,  and comfortable. Living up to someone else's standards does so much more harm than good. I have also taken focus and frustration off of the messes that the moose makes and put more effort into having him clean up his own messes! I also decided to try making cleaning a game (Jury is still out on that concept) and race the timer. While I will never see cleaning as a game or fun, I do know that I was allocating way too much time on cleaning tasks when most required 5 minutes or less! So I still set my timer because I work better and more efficiently in time crunches! Crazy I know! 

And with all those other duties and tasks out of the way,  I have more than enough time to devote quality time and attention on the two people I love most in this world. Not to mention plenty of 10 minutes to spare throughout my day to workout and get healthy with ZERO guilt!

And speaking of getting healthy:

My weight loss is starting to pick up momentum again. I am learning to make the days count and not focus on the "shoulda-woulda-coulda's". I officially hit the 40 pound milestone this past Sunday on Mother's Day.

So Today I pray that not one of us would partake in the bread of idleness. That we would ask God daily for the strength to accomplish the tasks that are set out before us. That we would honor God in all that we do and His name alone would be glorified!

God Bless Us All On Our Journey To Being Healthy!

Counting The Days

Not making the days count. That has been my biggest problem since my birthday. I have finally gotten to a place where I am back into a workout routine. My eating habits have still been a roller coaster, but I am taking it one day at a time. In fact, I am trying to focus specifically on two things:

"ONE CHOICE ; ONE DAY ; ONE POUND AT A TIME" 

&

"MAKE THE DAYS COUNT, DON'T COUNT THE DAYS" 

This past week I set a goal of 1.5 pounds, and I am happy to say that I met that goal with a 1.8 pound loss! Now I just need to gain momentum and keep on losing.

I've realized that I have not turned to God much in the past month, and have been trying to face my struggles on my own. But the truth is that I NEED HIM! I can not do this without him!

God Bless!

Another one bites the dust

Another pound that is.

Let me begin by saying that when you give it your very best during your workout and you follow your eating plan precisely, it is a little discouraging when you step on the scale and see a negative of 1 pound or less.

With all the fad diets, supplements, and television shows that promise or show huge weight loss numbers on a weekly basis, we tend to go through a roller coaster of emotions when we don't see those big numbers on our scales, especially if you know that you know that you gave it your very best 100% each day.

I refused to allow myself to get down about my 1 pound loss. That's because, on Sunday, I went to Old Navy with my mom and on a whim tried on a pair of size 20 jeans. 7 YEARS, it has been 7 years since I have been able to get my booty into a pair of Old Navy jeans!

Ladies (and gentlemen), we can NOT rely on just the scale. I am learning that our bodies go through so many changes on a daily basis and to use only a scale we can fall into the pit of "weight loss despair" if it is where we focus.

I decided to research how to effectively monitor weight loss and I will definitely be adding the following to my monitoring routine:

1) The Scale: I weigh-in every Monday morning after waking up.

2) Tape Measure: Use a tape measure to show loss of inches. I measure every 30 days, but I am sure it could be done on a weekly or bi-weekly basis.

3) Pair of Jeans/Shirts: Clothes don't lie (well when they are on the hanger at the store I believe they do). Based on if they are too snug or too loose I will know where I am at and what I need to do!

4) Physical Fitness Level:P Take the time during a workout to make a mental note about where you are physically at when it comes to exercise and then start a journal to keep track.

5) Body Fat Monitor: I know that those little machines where you place your hands to check body fat are not 100% accurate, but if you are losing body fat it should show it and that is all that really matters to me.

6) Emotions & Energy: How am I feeling? Am I tired? etc etc etc. I am just going to use :)    :(   :/ in my journal for emotions and use a scale of 1-5 for energy tracking.

7) Progress Pictures: Shriek! Take pictures weekly, bi-weekly, monthly and line them up from beginning to end. Wear the same form fitting outfit each time.

I am sure there are many other's but this is a good start for me. Not relying solely on the scale should help for those days like today when the scale does not effectively show my hard work.

** Just read that if you have been losing fat, but gaining muscle you could have a 2 pound gain. That is reassuring to know. **

Any-hoo, don't allow the fail scale (lol) to dictate how you feel. Find another method and ask God to help you not focus on the numbers.

God Bless us all on our journey to having healthy bodies and minds.

ADVISORY

Please understand that I am not claiming to be a medical professional, nor am I trying to tell someone else what they should be doing. The above information is what I personally have gathered from other sources and my own experiences. I use the above as a guideline on my own personal journey and hope to inspire others to make a change that will better their health and life. Please contact your physician if you are seriously considering making a healthy lifestyle change and you desire to lose weight. Thank you. 

I'm In!

Living so close to Seattle and the Seahawks on their way to play in Superbowl XLVII, there are signs that say "I'M IN" all over the place. As game day draws near, I am stressing about the food more than who is going to win (did I mention I am a Dolphin's fan). So today I decided to try and figure out what the "I'm In" is all about.

"The “I’M IN” sign is a physical affirmation of an internal commitment to “tap in” and compete to be your best you. Players and coaches tap in when they’re going to work on the game field, on the practice field or in the weight room to symbolize that they’re setting all distractions aside and focusing solely on the opportunity in front of them to perform and compete" - Pete Carroll

I actually really like that, with one addition, ...knowing that God is with me giving me the strength to be the best that I can be.


I'M IN to be the best me that God has created me to be.
I'M IN to setting all distractions aside and focusing on the task the Lord has set before me.
I'M IN to focusing solely on each brand new day that the Lord has blessed me with.
I'M IN to making the best choices I can when it comes to food & exercise.

So Yes, I'M IN!

Music for your heart & feet

I know that I am just starting out, but exercise can be really boring. Even more so if you find yourself watching the clock, hoping for those minutes to pass by. Monday night I didn't have my iPhone (aka mp3 player) on me, and let me just say how BORING my workout routine was. All I could think about was it being over and my body hurting. So on tuesday I made sure that I had my workout playlist ready to go.

Creating My Playlist
As a Christian who has dedicated my weight loss journey to God, I knew that most of the songs of today would just not cut it. I am not saying that secular music is necessarily bad, but I wanted to have a Godly playlist. You know, for those moments when I am praying "Lord please get me through these last 5 minutes" and all of a sudden I hear how I need "to shake my booty". Does anyone understand what I am talking about? Anyways, so I set out to find music that had an uplifting message AND suitable for a workout playlist. The following songs are part of my playlist and they are great at keeping me motivated and giving me that extra push when I need it:

1. START OVER by the Afters (great warm up song! especially if you are having a bad day)

2. MOVE by MercyMe

3. I WILL NOT BE MOVED by Natalie Grant

4. OVERCOMER by Mandisa

5. SHAKE by MercyMe

6. THIS IS HOW WE OVERCOME by Hillsong United

I truly believe that music helps to make a workout more fun and it is a key to having a successful session. I encourage you to add some uplifting songs to your current list. 

Turn up your music and get moving! 

What songs are a must have on your playlist? 

I will not be moved

I will stumble, I will fall own, But I will not be moved.

I will make mistakes, I will face heartache, But I will not be moved

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand

I WILL NOT BE MOVED

by: Natalie Grant (the link will take you to the full song on YouTube)

Today is the beginning of the 4th week of my journey and it was also weigh-in day! Last week I lost a total of 3.6 pounds. This brings my grand total weight loss to 20.4 pounds.

I definitely stumbled and I made mistakes. It took me until Wednesday/Thursday to get back on the "wagon". I am definitely learning a lot about myself and where I struggle. It has come down to every single day making the choice to be better than what I was yesterday!

In my KEYS TO SUCCESS post, key #4 was "SET BACKS ARE INEVITABLE" and it was about trying to plan for future roadblocks. Well the 270's are one of my roadblocks. I know that the next 2-3 weeks are going to be very challenging for me. However, I believe that God is bigger than any roadblock that I may face, so I am handing my stress and worry over to Him. I pray that he would go before me each and everyday and give me Victory over whatever roadblocks are in my way. I know that He cares about me being healthy.  To overcome I know I need to successfully stick to my calorie intake and exercise output.

This is another new week with each new day the opportunity to be better than the day before!

A review of last weeks goals:
{ } Finish the cleanse strong; and stick to my calorie limit each day.
I did not finish the cleanse strong. But, I did stick to my calorie limit each day.
{ } Spend time getting my "Daily Bread" & in prayer with God.
I spent time with God, but it could have been more. 
{ } Drink more than 1/2 of daily water intake.
No, I didn't drink anywhere near the amount of water that I was suppose to.
{ } Continue waking up at or before 7 am.
This has changed just a little bit. I am now waking up around 8am.
{ } Lose 2 pounds this week. 
Lost 3.6 pounds this week!!!!
{ } "Walk" my way to 1.5 miles in 30 minutes. 
This was definitely setting my goal a little high for where I am at in my journey. I will be reevaluating and making a new goal. 

WEEKLY GOALS:
{ } Stick to my calorie limit
{ } Drink more water
{ } Spend time getting my "Daily Bread" & praying 
{ } Stick to early wake-up time & going to bed early
{ } 30 minutes of walking doing intervals at 3.0 | 3.5 | 4.0 mph

SHORT-TERM GOAL:
Because I am so close to my original goal of 25 pounds by March 10th, I have decided to change the amount so that I am giving it my all and leaving no room to slack off or try less. It is now 37 pounds! 

LONG-TERM GOAL:
Get my blood pressure under control, live an active & nutritious lifestyle, and to be at a healthy weight for my body.

Thank you for all your love, support, and prayers. 

Bang! Crash! Burn!

Last week started out with a bang, ended in a crash, but I refuse to let myself burn.

The most important thing I learned last week was that I need to plan for those days when I will not be home. I am not in a place to overcome the temptation of bad foods when I am really hungry and every one else around me is eating them.

" Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it. " - Horace Mann 

Eating bad/junk food has become a bad habit. I've had about 10,220 days of weaving this particular thread around my life. Why would I even think that this was going to be an easy one to break? Everyday I will grab one thread and begin to unravel the cable that I have created. And for every one of my threads, I know that God is breaking 10 more. I can't do this without him. He is my strength and refuge in times of trouble, he is my joy and comfort always. I will turn last week over to Him, and ask for his strength to begin again.

A review of last weeks goals:
[75%] Sticking to the cleanse eating plan 100%! 
I did great until Fri-Sun. 
[X] Drinking AT LEAST 1/2 of my recommended water intake.
I would say this was true. I drank anywhere from 5-10 glassed of water a day.
[X] Walking for 30 minutes at 3.0 mph.
I did 25 minutes a day alternating 3.0/3.5 averaging 1.2-1.5 miles. The plantars fascists in my left foot was extremely painful this week, but I pushed through the pain and just kept walking! 
[X] Lose 1.5 lbs by end of the week.
I lost a total of 5.8 pounds this week. I will not focus on the "should have-could have"! 
[ ] Spending time getting my "daily bread" & prayer with Jesus.
This was one of my biggest downfalls this week. I did not spend enough time in my Bible or in prayer with God.
[X] Sticking to a 7-8 am Wake-Up no matter what time I go to bed.
My wake up times were anywhere between 5:30 am - 6:30 am !!

THIS WEEKS GOALS:
{ } Finish the cleanse strong; and stick to my calorie limit each day.
{ } Spend time getting my "Daily Bread" & in prayer with God.
{ } Drink more than 1/2 of daily water intake.
{ } Continue waking up at or before 7 am.
{ } Lose 2 pounds this week. 
{ } "Walk" my way to 1.5 miles in 30 minutes. 

SHORT-TERM GOAL:
 Lose 25 lbs by my birthday (MARCH 10th) - I am currently 8.2 pounds from reaching this goal!

LONG-TERM GOAL:
Get my blood pressure under control, live an active & nutritious lifestyle, and to be at a healthy weight for my body.

Time to get moving and planning. I pray that God would be with us all as we endeavor to be active & healthy. God Bless! 

Key's To Success

Over the last 16 years I have set weight loss goals and have never reached them. Because there is no point in trying to do the same thing and expecting different results, I decided to do a little research about how to set and achieve goals.

11 Key's To Weight Loss Success 

Key # 11: SET THE DATE- Simple, Yet so difficult. Choose and stick to a start date. Try not to set a finish date, as you are changing your lifestyle which has no end.

Key # 10: WRITE IT OUT- Take the time to strategically plan your journey on paper. Don't get so hooked up on the planning that you never start. 

Key # 9: PERSONALIZE EACH GOAL- Do not worry about another's journey. Choose goals that are tailored to your specific needs, expectations, fitness level, and health concerns.

Key # 8: BE REALISTIC- Set goals that are truly attainable. For example, ply plan to lose 1-2 pounds a week. Slow and steady will usual mean long-term success in the battle against the "bulge".

Key # 7: FOCUS ON THE PROCESS- Instead of setting a goal to be a certain weight, set goals that will focus on your daily behaviors such as drinking more water, walking an extra 15 minutes, etc. Again, be specific and realistic. 

Key # 6: SHORT TERM, LONG TERM- The first will keep you focused daily, where the latter will motivate you in the long run. Visualize each short term goal as a stepping stone on your journey, with the long term goals being the milestones. 

Key # 5: THE SMALLER THE BETTER- You are more likely to stick with a program that focuses on a set of small goals that build into a larger goal. 

Key # 4: SET BACKS ARE INEVITABLE- Try to identify future roadblocks and plan accordingly. If you fall, don't waste time in self-pity. Start fresh each and every day. Strive to make today better than yesterday in all areas of your life.

Key # 3: EVALUATE YOUR JOURNEY- At the end of every week see where you are at with meeting your goals. Ask yourself "Was I successful at meeting my goals?", "are my goals realistic?".

Key # 2: BE OPEN TO ADJUSTMENT- You need to be open to changing your plans as your progress. What works now, may not work in the future and vice- versa. 

Key # 1: COMMIT YOUR PLANS TO THE LORD! - 

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed." PROVERBS 16:3

I hope these keys will aide in my success and inspire you to set achievable goals for yourself.

God Bless.

ADVISORY

Please understand that I am not claiming to be a medical professional, nor am I trying to tell someone else what they should be doing. The above information is what I personally have gathered from other sources and my own experiences. I use the above as a guideline on my own personal journey and hope to inspire others to make a change that will better their health and life. Please contact your physician if you are seriously considering making a healthy lifestyle change and you desire to lose weight. Thank you. 

1 Week, New Week

Today is officially the end of week one. Last week had some ups and some downs. But this is a whole new week! I have no time to focus on the past or the mistakes I made. This is a new week, and each and every morning is a new opportunity to do better than I did the day before.

Last week I lost 12 lbs. I know there is water weight in there, but I walked every single day! That's right! This lady right here chose to get on the treadmill and push through the "aches, pains, feelings of not wanting to" etc. I am proud of myself. I did not let my emotions or the enemy get the best of me!

I am looking forward to this new week. I will be doing the Advocare Cleanse for 10 days. Also, Larry is doing it with me, so I won't be alone in revamping what I am eating this week. :)

WEEKLY GOAL:

[] Sticking to the cleanse eating plan 100%!
[] Drinking AT LEAST 1/2 of my recommended water intake.
[] Walking for 30 minutes at 3.0 mph.
[] Lose 1.5 lbs by end of the week.
[] Spending time getting my "daily bread" & prayer with Jesus.
[] Sticking to a 7-8 am Wake-Up no matter what time I go to bed.

SHORT-TERM GOAL:
 Lose 25 lbs by my birthday (MARCH 10th) 

LONG-TERM GOAL:
Get my blood pressure under control, live an active & nutritious lifestyle, and to be at a healthy weight for my body.


Please join me in prayer, asking the Lord to show me favor this week. That he would walk with me and show me the "way out" when I face whatever obstacles that lay ahead.

Thank you for all your love, support, and prayers.

The Butterfly Effect: It's The Little Things That Add Up

 ".......Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the prize which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:13-14

A butterfly effect (with reference to chaos theory) is the phenomenon whereby a minute localized change can have large effects elsewhere. Example: A butterfly fluttering its wing in Texas can change the weather in such a way as to cause a hurricane in Australia. 

Much like the the possibility of a tiny wing flutter causing catastrophic weather events, so it is with the changes needed to start living a more active and healthy lifestyle. It is in the little things that the biggest changes happen. The following is a list of simple, easy, inexpensive changes that can have the biggest impact and I am sure they are nothing new.

 So for the time being I plan to:

• Drink more water. Cut out soda and sugar drinks which includes "Diet" as studies are now showing the negative effects of aspartame. 
• Find ways to sneak in exercise: park in the furthest parking space, use the stairs, play active/outdoor games with the Brodster.
• Don't eat more calories than my RDI. 
• Don't use food/drinks as a way to reward myself.
• Don't use "diet" products. Watch the labels of non-fat/low calorie products.

If there is any truth to the butterfly effect theory than I should see inches, if not pounds, begin to melt away :) 

God Bless! 

The Cycle Of Life

In my previous post I shared how God used an image of a butterfly to start me on a journey of self-discovery and weightloss. I just want to share a little bit about what I learned as I studied the butterfly life cycle.

The Egg: Setting a Standard From The Start

It all starts with an egg.  A female butterfly attaches an egg to a leaf. It may not seem like much, but the truth is that she chooses the leaf with every intention to give her baby the best start. For the leaf she chooses will be the caterpillars first source of food. This leaf is not just about the best looking leaf on the tree, it is so much more than that. A mother butterfly attaches her eggs to leaves that are the best source of nutrition for their species. She sets the standard for what the caterpillar is suppose to eat!

Just like a mother butterfly choosing a leaf, it is our job as parents to teach our children about a healthy diet and lifestyle.

My mom is an amazing mom. She went through a lot when I was younger and she worked really hard to make sure we had the necessities and then some. Due to her work schedule, we ate fast food and heavily processed meals on a daily basis as she rushed from one job to the next. As I grew up, eating fast food was standard and normal.

As an adult it has become my greatest pitfall and addiction. Trying to break this habit has been a struggle. As a mom, I want what is best for my son, but I too have set a standard of eating fast food. I know the dangers of this lifestyle and now I am working towards being a better example for my son. It is not about dieting, it is about living a healthy and active lifestyle. That is the standard I want to set for myself and my family.

The Caterpillar: The Feeding Stage

The next life cycle stage is the Caterpillar. A caterpillar has one job in life: to eat, eat, and eat. How much the caterpillar eats before it enters the cocoon/chrysalis will determine the size of the butterfly. 

While learning about this stage of the butterfly, God really dug deep into my heart. There are about 17,500 species of butterflies. However, one butterfly stood out to me above all the others. In Australia, there is a butterfly called the CAIRNS BIRDWING. The more I read about this butterfly, the more God exposed some hard truths about myself and the similarities I shared with this beautiful creature. 

First, what is normally deadly to most other butterflies, the Cairns actually thrives and depends on the poisonous leaves of the Aristolochia vine. For too long I have thrived and depended on the toxicity of fast food. Most people tend to get sick when they eat fast food, but I have eaten there so much that I never get sick. I don't consider that a good thing, or anything to boast about! It actually makes me cringe!

Second, as a caterpillar, it uses bright colors and sharp spines to protect itself against predators. 

To protect myself from being hurt by others, I allowed myself to become overweight. And now that I am overweight, I use other defense mechanisms (sarcasm, cynicism, anger, etc) to protect myself from being hurt because of how big I am. It is a vicious cycle that has brought more sorrow than joy. 

Those are the biggest similarities. The biggest difference between me and this butterfly leads into the next two life cycle stages. 

The Chrysalis: The Transformation Stage

&

The Butterfly: Metamorphosis Completed

The Chrysalis stage is where the magic happens! Where a chubby caterpillar turns into a magnificent butterfly. And this is where I have differed from the Cairns caterpillar. I have never entered this stage. 

That's right. I have chosen to be a hungry caterpillar growing bigger and bigger with each passing day. But enough is enough. I am the largest I have ever been in my life. It is time to wrap myself in healthy eating choices, daily exercise, and growing deeper in my relationship with God. It is time to enter the Chrysalis and start the amazing transformation into a new me. 

And now the questions and worry began. What will this metamorphosis look like? Is it just about weight loss? These are the questions I brought before the creator of all things bright and beautiful. After much thought, I drew a simple outline of a butterfly with 5 parts: a body at the center and four wings. This is what I believe the Lord was showing me what my metamorphosis will look like:

The body at the center represents keeping Jesus at the center of my heart and the four wings represent the balance of the following areas:

SPIRITUAL:

• Love of Jesus shining through me for all to see.
• Intimate relationship with God through prayer, worship, and devotion
• Constant hunger and thirst for righteousness and actually living God's will.
• The fruit of my branches would be noticeable to others and the gifts of the Spirit would be present all around in my life. 

PHYSICAL:

• Healthy blood pressure & blood sugar levels.
• Hormone levels balanced.
• Active Lifestyle to maintain a healthy weight, and to be strong and flexible.
• Healthy Eating: Portion Control, Food Choices, Water, etc.
• Shiny and strong nails & hair; glowing skin.

EMOTIONAL:

• No erratic feelings of highs and lows.
• Be Joyful
• Healthy relationships with family and friends.

MENTAL:

• Less worrisome and stressed out.
• Self-Controlled.
• Disciplined. 

SOMEDAY GOD'S PERFECT BEAUTY WILL BE MADE COMPLETE IN ME 

 and I will emerge as the beautiful, creature of a woman that God created me to be. 

A Butterfly's Journey

 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2

Recently I started praying about my weight and the struggles I have faced over the past 16+ years. 

In my quiet time with God, he led me to an image of a  butterfly. This led me to explore and learn more than I have ever known about the butterfly and its life cycle. And in return, God showed me more than I could have ever known about myself. 

So this is my journey from 

a HUNGRY CATERPILLAR to a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY

It is my hope and prayer that my Journey would be an encouragement to you. Just like every butterfly is different and beautiful in its own way, so are you and I.