Faith is not separate on this journey.

Welcome to what I hope is just the first of many posts dedicated to the Christian Faith aspect of my weight loss journey. It is my hope and desire to share Biblical Truths  that the Lord Jesus is showing me as I begin to treat my body as the temple that it was created to be.

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 it says:

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 

20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

I read this and my heart is convicted. I know that in the past 16 years I have not treated my body as the temple God created it to be. I may not smoke, drink, or do drugs, but I have harmed myself just the same with the junk that I have consumed over the years. The blessing of food and drink has actually become a curse. I have allowed food consumption to become a sin in my life. That is not an easy thing to admit, but it is truth all the same. Food has become an Idol in my life. It is what I turn to when I am hurting instead of turning to Jesus. If Idolatry wasn't bad enough, I also recognized that I have walked a path of gluttony. The over-consumption and over-indulgences have led to health problems, aches, and pains. This is not God's intention for my body. I am ashamed of how I have treated the temple God has blessed me with.

I believe real change happens only when truth is allowed to illuminate the areas of our life where we need that change to take place. I have struggled with my weight and weight loss for so long, but only recently have I began to understand the underlying issues that I was not willing to deal with. I know that God will be revealing so much more as I continue on this journey in learning how to see my body as His temple.

My faith in God is necessary on this journey as I learn to rely on Him and rely less on food.

I hope and pray that the truth God has revealed in my life will encourage another on their own journey, no matter where they may be.

God Bless.

 

My apologies, time has gotten away from me once again

I did not intend to go this long between my posts but things have been so busy here. In my last post I talked about the past few years of my weight loss journey, being diagnosed with PCOS, and finding THM (Trim Healthy Mama).

Throughout the month of June we did a 30 Day No Cheat Streak Challenge in one of the groups. I was dreading the challenge but I persevered through. When the 30 days was over, I was so proud of the accomplishment I made that I decided to continue and go for 100 days without cheating and staying on plan 100%.

Today is day 44 and I am going strong. I have never really gone more than 10 days without cheating or giving in to cravings, so this is such a big accomplishment for me and I am really proud. I know that without God, this would not be possible. I am so thankful for the strength he has given me during this time. The past 44 days have not been easy, and there have been some days where I just wanted to cry, but it does get a little bit easier.

Well that's it for now. I am hoping to do a recipe post soon.

God Bless on our journey to better health.

A new path on my journey

Over the past 14 years I have tried many different diet and exercise plans with little success. It is not fair to say that those diets just don't work, but I will say that it was more about them being unrealistic as a long term healthy solution.

Back in 2014 I started doing more of my own research into what would be best for my journey. I bought textbooks, searched the internet, and began to compile my own ideas of what would be best for me. There was so much information and I was successful for a short period of time. My weight dropped from 290 in January to 254 by May. However, because of the extreme pressure I put on myself, I ended up with an injury that has caused permanent damage and pain in my feet and I gained back most of that weight.

After being diagnosed with PCOS, I started a PCOS diet and lost 25 pounds, but again I found that this type of diet was not something I could realistically see myself doing for the rest of my life. There had to be something out there I could see myself doing for the rest of my life and not just for weight loss but also for internal health as well.

There were several things I knew for sure that I needed:

To get rid of sugar and processed carbs
To eat LOW GI food
To eat fat, protein, and healthy whole carbohydrates from whole food sources.

What I did not know was how to combine all the best of the information I compiled and how to make it work for me.

A few months ago while on Pinterest searching for PCOS friendly recipes, I came across a recipe with the letters THM on it. I had seen it before when searching for recipes and never paid any attention to it. But that night I decided to look up what the THM stood for. And that is when I was brought to the TRIM HEALTHY MAMA website. Remember the butterfly I had talked about earlier? Well imagine my surprise when I saw that their logo is a butterfly! I knew I was not stumbling upon this site, and these two amazing women by accident.

I have still struggled while trying to implement the THM lifestyle. But that is what is great about THM, it is not just another fad diet. It is also a community of women who are all trying their best to live a healthy lifestyle and I have found many other mama’s out there who are encouraging and inspiring one another. How amazing and rare is that in todays society!

So if you have tried all the diets out there and feel hopeless, I sincerely recommend you taking a look into the Trim Healthy Mama Lifestyle. The sisters also have videos on YouTube.

God bless us all on this journey.

Is that ever going to be me?

When I created this blog back in 2014 it was for the purpose of keeping myself accountable and I had hoped to be an encouragement to others. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by and how much life has gotten in the way of keeping this blog up to date.

As I read over my previous posts, I considered deleting them. I began to doubt how I could possibly be an encouragement to others when it seems all that I have done is struggle and perform the "weight loss/weight gain shuffle" (losing and gaining the same 10-20 pounds over and over again).

I have spent the past few days searching the world of Pinterest for weight loss success photos for encouragement. By the time I was finished with my search, I realized I felt more discouraged then encouraged by all the success I saw. Let me pause real quick to ask that you not mistake my discouragement for a lack of being happy for others who have achieved their success. I have searched within myself and have realized why I feel this way and it comes down to one simple concept and that is I can not relate to their success. It was truly an "ah-ha" moment. It is so hard to relate to something when you are at a different place in your own journey. With this realization, I decided it was best not delete my journey thus far. Just maybe, there are others like me who need to see the struggle so that we know that we are not alone. We see the success and we hear how the journey was hard, but we don't know or get to see the struggle. Sometimes the struggle is what can be the most encouraging.

So that is where I find myself today. Struggling and wondering if that is ever going to be me.

Do you feel that way too? If so, you are definitely not alone!

I hope and pray that this blog will encourage you on your own journey.

God Bless.

A New Year, A New Me?

At the end of December you hear a lot of people start saying things like " A New Year, A New Me!".
 

But here I am thinking another year has gone by and things are still the same! 

No matter how dedicated I think I am going to be, I always fall short of reaching the goals that I set at the beginning of the year. 

Two years ago I started this journey, and I am still at the starting line. I get so frustrated with myself! I wanted my 30's to be the best years. I will be 32 in March and I am still so far away from where I wanted to be by now. This blog was suppose to help hold me accountable but I found myself running away from it in shame. I wanted to be an inspiration to others and yet I was failing. 

2017 started 3 weeks ago. For the first time in my adult life I did not set any goals for myself. I thought it would be best not to set myself up for disappointment. 

Fast forward to today and so many changes have been taking place in my life. The biggest change, and the one that has had a cascading effect, has been coming to an understanding of what it means to have a healthy life. 

As a Christian woman, I have come to the realization that a Healthy Life is not possible without Jesus. Because being healthy is so much more than a number on a scale or a size on a hanger. Sure people can be "physically" healthy but what is physical health without spiritual health?

How many of us have prayed to God just asking him "Please change me? Help me to _________"?
I am constantly praying this. And nothing ever changes and I get frustrated with my life and the way things are. Recently I did an internet search for "change from the inside out" and I came across a sermon series by Pastor Tom Pennington on the website The Word Unleashed. I had never heard of him, or his ministry, but I know that I know the Spirit led me to Pastor Pennington's site.

The name of the series? "REAL CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE OUT" ! And the cover image? A BUTTERFLY!!! I could not believe it! Well I could but it was still just a little confirmation knowing that The Lord was leading me. (If you are reading my blog for the first time, please check out my previous posts with the label "butterfly" to understand why this was a big deal for me.) As I listened to the message, the one thought I had was "YES! I am ready to change and lose weight". Quickly I realized that weight loss was not going to be my main, nor only, focus. Over the next 3 hours I listened to this message and my heart was being convicted and encouraged simultaneously. It was like my heart and my brain were meeting for the first time on this issue and many others. I know that may seem silly, but it is very true.

There are so many areas of my life, some I wasn't aware of, that need a change. I am not sure what 2017 has in store. I have no control over the future, and I can't change the past. But right here in this moment I can choose to make choices that will have a positive impact. I can put out the effort and start doing things (or stopping things) that will lead to a real change in my life.

A new year?
 Yes.

A new me?
I am already changing with help from my Savior.

God Bless.

P.C.O.S.

It is time to start taking things seriously. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS. I won't go into too much detail about the disorder but I will post a link for those who are interested.

WEBMD-PCOS 

MAYO CLINIC- PCOS

OFFICE ON WOMEN'S HEALTH

Basically it causes hormonal imbalance, metabolic problems, insulin resistance, infertility, difficulty losing weight and/or easily gaining weight, cysts on ovaries,and the list goes on and on. There is no cure but is treatable.

I have struggled with many of the symptoms since my pre-teens, and the term has been thrown around from age 16-21 but no doctor I have had has taken it seriously. Until now! And I am so thankful to finally have found a doctor who is being proactive and has finally given me the answers to so many of the questions and problems I have been going through over the last 20 years. I feel really old saying that..lol.

The biggest change I have had to make is in regards to my diet and exercise. Which comes back to the very heart of why I started this blog 2 years ago. The biggest difference between then and now, is knowing that my body is not "NORMAL" and there are some things that simply will not work for me.

I have been researching nutrition for 2 years now and you'd think that I would have lost a bunch of weight. But I have not, in fact what little I do seem to lose I put back on plus an extra 10. But now that I know that I have PCOS, I have been doing research into how to treat my symptoms with diet and exercise. I have to learn and figure out how to fuel my body appropriately. I have to find a way to take all the research I have and make it work for me. It seems like an impossible task. Until next time...

Good Health & God Bless!

 
 

You can't hide from reality

It is 3:30 am and needless to say I can not sleep. As I look back through my past posts I can hear the knocks of depression banging loudly. Self- hate and shame have once again taken root. My chest hurts and it is difficult to breathe as I rack my brain around why I keep falling into old patterns. 

God has been doing great things in my life and yet I find myself having a hard time accepting them because I feel so much self-hatred. 

I've learned that the first step in any healing process is to start with the truth. So here I am accepting the truth that I am officially heavier than I have ever been in my life. 305 pounds. I look in the mirror and I hate who I see. I want to know why I struggle with food!? It should be so simple as eat this not that, but I am screaming it is not! I've been trying so hard to overcome this battle but I can never seem to win. I've tried many strategies and they end up failing. I am terrified! 

For tonight, I am holding on to hope.